Thursday, October 30, 2008

For everyone who has to work with THE PUBLIC.......

Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?"
Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?"
Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre"
Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours". 

Samsung Electronics 

Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?" 
Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about". 
Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?" 
Operator: "I think you mean the telephone point on the wall". 

RAC Motoring Services 

Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia?" 
Operator: Doesn't the product give you a clue? 

Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France): 
"If I register my car in France, do I have to change the steering wheel 
to the other side of the car?" 

Directory Enquiries 

Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please". 
Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?" 
Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off". 

Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven. 
Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?" 
Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland". 

On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator: "I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on". 

Computer Capers 

Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop". 
Customer: "OK". 
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No". 
Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?" 
Customer: "No". 
Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'". 

Tech Support: "OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you 
see the 'OK' button displayed?" 
Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?" 

Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised 
that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my 
file back again?"

There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause". 

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now 
I know why they record these conversations!): 

Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?" 
Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect." 
Operator: "What sort of trouble??" 
Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away." 
Operator: "Went away?" 
Caller: "They disappeared." 
Operator: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?" 
Caller: "Nothing." 
Operator: "Nothing??" 
Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type." 
Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??" 
Caller: "How do I tell?" 
Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??" 
Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?" 
Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?" 
Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type." 
Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??" 
Caller: "What's a monitor?" 
Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. 
Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??" 
Caller: "I don't know." 
Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??" 
Caller: "Yes, I think so." 
Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall. 
Caller: "Yes, it is." 
Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??" 
Caller: "No." 
Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable." 
Caller: "Okay, here it is." 
Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer." 
Caller: "I can't reach." 
Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??" 
Caller: "No." 
Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??" 
Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark." 
Operator: "Dark??" 
Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window." 
Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then." 
Caller: "I can't." 
Operator: "No? Why not??" 
Caller: "Because there's a power failure." 
Operator: "A power... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??" 
Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet." 
Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from." 
Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?" 
Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is." 
Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"

Operator: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer"

No comments: